Dear big sister,
I am writing to you which would be a first in so long a time I can't ever remember writing in the past. I am sorry I have not called or spoken to you in a long time as well. I want to tell you I love you and I am proud of being your brother. At no time have you ever disappointed me or embaressed me. Rather, you have saved me some anguish. I still have your doll's - they are in the display case and I look at them every day. I remember the day Mom bought you Trixie. You were so proud of her. A 5 lb dog that made me feel like a monster. Maybe she sensed the monster that lived in me? Animals often can sense the wrongness in other creatures. I remember taking you up to the obedience school and how you gave 110 percent to learn what the instructor was trying to put across. I learned a lesson from that. Today I remembered what it was. It was your "never give up, never say die" attitude. That is priceless. My beautiful sister, you rock!
Your big brother
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
A ministry
For a mere 3 weeks now my wife and I have been having "family night". It seems to have settled on Wednesday evening and we phone my daughter and her husband. We gather around the iphone and we each talk about our week as it is so far, and we talk about events that are important to each of us. We talk about our grandchildren and how they are liking (or not!) school and preschool.
My daughter and I agreed to keep more in touch than we had in the past, and this is what we settled on: talking on the phone. I know! Its rather old fashioned, but at least it is more efficient than texting.
How do we get in the presence of God? Through prayer. However, God doesn't want family night, He wants you 24/7/365. I want God with me during our family night so that He can guide my words, guide my heart so I speak true and with love.
I want that 24/7/365 as well. When I speak with my wife, I want my words guided by God. When I speak to my coworkers I want my words guided by God. Recall I once said "never give up, never say die"? No matter how many times I fail to listen to God, I will never give up seeking Him. Never give up trying.
Its 10 to 9. Gotta go. Its another family night and I have tickets for my daughter and her family to go to Night Eyes. A fun filled night at the Zoo for children and those adults who like to be children as well.
Ed
May the peace of our Lord be with you.
My daughter and I agreed to keep more in touch than we had in the past, and this is what we settled on: talking on the phone. I know! Its rather old fashioned, but at least it is more efficient than texting.
How do we get in the presence of God? Through prayer. However, God doesn't want family night, He wants you 24/7/365. I want God with me during our family night so that He can guide my words, guide my heart so I speak true and with love.
I want that 24/7/365 as well. When I speak with my wife, I want my words guided by God. When I speak to my coworkers I want my words guided by God. Recall I once said "never give up, never say die"? No matter how many times I fail to listen to God, I will never give up seeking Him. Never give up trying.
Its 10 to 9. Gotta go. Its another family night and I have tickets for my daughter and her family to go to Night Eyes. A fun filled night at the Zoo for children and those adults who like to be children as well.
Ed
May the peace of our Lord be with you.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Customer Service
That's what I do. I earn my keep as a customer service team leader. I didn't know people until I took this job. I'm wondering where God is today. It doesn't matter if I take a call from the bible belt, or the most 'liberal' area of our country. People are hateful. I don't know if it is because they feel safe to say the things they do due to the shield the telephone provides, or if they are truly without the grace of God. Today I failed with every call I took.
Like everyone else, I am quick to judge others. I tend to believe what the customer says "I was home all day and NO ONE called and now I can't get a repair tech for another 2 days!!!???
I would think, wow, another company employee who didn't do their job. GRRRRRRR!
I just wanted to knock that person into the middle of next week!!!
I'm not very smart. However, even as dumb as I am, I begun to realize there is always another side to this story. I was on my way to fill my coffee cup with that hot elixir of life known as coffee. (Truly coffee comes straight from God!!) I asked the rep to take a customers name and contact number and I'd call them back. 5 min tops. I did. I tried to contact the customer twice. I just got the answering machine/voice mail. No live person answered the phone. Great! I thought. Another false claim that no one called her back.
From the haughty surgeons wife who thinks she deserves special treatment because she is married to a surgeon, to the lowest pensioner living on social security it seems that it is acceptable to lie and berate someone who cannot give what is being demanded.
Cussing has become accepted and "cool" in speech. Screaming to the point of incoherency is seen as a way to drive home your point of view.
In the book Grace For The Moment by Max Lucado, the date of 9/28/2010 starts with a sentence from Proverbs 4:23 "Be careful of what you think..."
Why must we guard our thoughts? What does this mean to us in today's world?
Solomon writes about wisdom for young and old alike.
Above all else, quard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. 4:23
Solomon is telling us that our lives are controlled by what is in our hearts. If anger abides there, our thoughts will be filled with anger and from our mouths will pour forth anger. Cleanse the anger from your heart - give it to God. Let Him deal with it and I can honestly say you will be happier.
I should have read this in the morning before work. All the angry customers I had today would not have bothered me at all. After my prayers this evening, I do feel more at peace. Praise be to God!!!
Ed
May the peace of our Lord live in your heart.
Like everyone else, I am quick to judge others. I tend to believe what the customer says "I was home all day and NO ONE called and now I can't get a repair tech for another 2 days!!!???
I would think, wow, another company employee who didn't do their job. GRRRRRRR!
I just wanted to knock that person into the middle of next week!!!
I'm not very smart. However, even as dumb as I am, I begun to realize there is always another side to this story. I was on my way to fill my coffee cup with that hot elixir of life known as coffee. (Truly coffee comes straight from God!!) I asked the rep to take a customers name and contact number and I'd call them back. 5 min tops. I did. I tried to contact the customer twice. I just got the answering machine/voice mail. No live person answered the phone. Great! I thought. Another false claim that no one called her back.
From the haughty surgeons wife who thinks she deserves special treatment because she is married to a surgeon, to the lowest pensioner living on social security it seems that it is acceptable to lie and berate someone who cannot give what is being demanded.
Cussing has become accepted and "cool" in speech. Screaming to the point of incoherency is seen as a way to drive home your point of view.
In the book Grace For The Moment by Max Lucado, the date of 9/28/2010 starts with a sentence from Proverbs 4:23 "Be careful of what you think..."
Why must we guard our thoughts? What does this mean to us in today's world?
Solomon writes about wisdom for young and old alike.
Above all else, quard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. 4:23
Solomon is telling us that our lives are controlled by what is in our hearts. If anger abides there, our thoughts will be filled with anger and from our mouths will pour forth anger. Cleanse the anger from your heart - give it to God. Let Him deal with it and I can honestly say you will be happier.
I should have read this in the morning before work. All the angry customers I had today would not have bothered me at all. After my prayers this evening, I do feel more at peace. Praise be to God!!!
Ed
May the peace of our Lord live in your heart.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
What I gots
It is my personal belief that God does not grant wishes as if He were the Wish Faerie. Atheists point out you don't get what you want because there is no God. Ministers tell you that you don't get what you want because you are not sincere.
If I had no arms or legs or sight; if I was poor and had no food to eat and I prayed that I could have arms, legs, sight or food; why I would think I would be pretty sincere!
In fact I'd be feverishly sincere.
I have:
sight, all limbs in their proper locations and size.
a beautiful wife
a lovely daughter
a handsome son.
a job and all the trappings of lower-middle class life in a country that imposes no restrictions on my religion or beliefs.
I already blessed and we haven't mentioned God or Jesus yet.
I didn't say God doesn't grant wishes, or things you pray for- because God did grant me a wish and it came today in e-mail form.
My wish.
My wish is for a prayer book, and I have searched for and found one from the Anglican faith. I just don't have the $$ plus shipping.
I opened my e-mail account and there was a message from my dear sister. I clicked on it, and I swear I heard a "DING" (like a bell rang).
That ding was my sister offering to buy me any prayer book I wanted. Praise be to God and to my sister.
How cool is that? I didn't even pray for one. I simply searched for, and found one. I had even bought a study bible and had to return it due to not being able to read it. The print was so small I think ants are larger than three words - the print was that small. (No, I didn't have an ant to measure with, but...)
God knows I am desperate for His love. Desperate for a way to speak to Him with sincerity and I am developing a thirst for Him. This thirst seems to be headed for addiction status.
I am truly blessed in this life.
Good night and may God bless you.
Ed
If I had no arms or legs or sight; if I was poor and had no food to eat and I prayed that I could have arms, legs, sight or food; why I would think I would be pretty sincere!
In fact I'd be feverishly sincere.
I have:
sight, all limbs in their proper locations and size.
a beautiful wife
a lovely daughter
a handsome son.
a job and all the trappings of lower-middle class life in a country that imposes no restrictions on my religion or beliefs.
I already blessed and we haven't mentioned God or Jesus yet.
I didn't say God doesn't grant wishes, or things you pray for- because God did grant me a wish and it came today in e-mail form.
My wish.
My wish is for a prayer book, and I have searched for and found one from the Anglican faith. I just don't have the $$ plus shipping.
I opened my e-mail account and there was a message from my dear sister. I clicked on it, and I swear I heard a "DING" (like a bell rang).
That ding was my sister offering to buy me any prayer book I wanted. Praise be to God and to my sister.
How cool is that? I didn't even pray for one. I simply searched for, and found one. I had even bought a study bible and had to return it due to not being able to read it. The print was so small I think ants are larger than three words - the print was that small. (No, I didn't have an ant to measure with, but...)
God knows I am desperate for His love. Desperate for a way to speak to Him with sincerity and I am developing a thirst for Him. This thirst seems to be headed for addiction status.
I am truly blessed in this life.
Good night and may God bless you.
Ed
Monday, September 6, 2010
Never Give up. Never say die.
Happy 902010 Day. Its another of my Fridays and I have two glorious days ahead, one of which I will spend with family.
This weekend I met a man I call Mike Jointer. That is not his real name, but Mike is the real first name, Jointer is what he had for sale. Made it easy to remember why I put his telephone number in my contact list. This tale isn't about what I purchased, but is about Mike. Mike is a man who has lost his job - and is fighting for disability. He looks whole; walks on two legs and has all his visible body parts however he lives in pain due to a bad this or that. He is loosing his place to live and his wife is a multiple amputee. He has a smile on his face and when he talks about her it is with pride and love.
I went away from his house with a feeling I had meet a happy man. Just when you may think you can't stand any more crap, think about this man Mike. Offer up a prayer for him and his wife and remember that God does not give you any more trials than you can bear. Never give up. Never say die.
This weekend I met a man I call Mike Jointer. That is not his real name, but Mike is the real first name, Jointer is what he had for sale. Made it easy to remember why I put his telephone number in my contact list. This tale isn't about what I purchased, but is about Mike. Mike is a man who has lost his job - and is fighting for disability. He looks whole; walks on two legs and has all his visible body parts however he lives in pain due to a bad this or that. He is loosing his place to live and his wife is a multiple amputee. He has a smile on his face and when he talks about her it is with pride and love.
I went away from his house with a feeling I had meet a happy man. Just when you may think you can't stand any more crap, think about this man Mike. Offer up a prayer for him and his wife and remember that God does not give you any more trials than you can bear. Never give up. Never say die.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
In judgment of others
Did you know that judgment day occurs 7 days a week? I'm not talking about the 2nd coming, I'm talking about us, about me. I judge other people by some ad hoc method that only God knows who made it up. Maybe me. Maybe I adopted parts from my parents, fellow coworkers and friends. My judgments are based on skewed observations, misinformation and prejudice. I willingly judge others and usually find them lacking. Not measuring up to my crooked viewpoint.
I volunteered for the Shoes that Fit run on Saturday. I received a cool new T-shirt - bright yellow. Too small for me so I gave it to my lovely wife. A gift card good at the store which organized the Run. Gave it to the first person I knew.
I took some pictures of the runners as they passed the intersection that I guarded. My job was to ensure all runners could pass safely through the my intersection. I had such a GREAT time, I'm gonna volunteer at Christmas time. Maybe I'll have some spare cash to purchase a pair of shoes/boots or a set of clothes for a child that doesn't have that kind of item.
Wow, I'm volunteering. Never thought I would do something like this. Something so simple and yet something that can make a positive change to a little child. I suddenly realize that I had been very selfish. I used to think "why doesn't the parent(s) of the child get a job? Stop wasting our money to support them...
I could have been born into their world. No clothes for the winter months or a place to sleep other than a cardboard box. I was judging and I found their parent(s) lacking. I am small and mean spirited. I am less than they.
Somewhere along the way from being able to form my opinions, likes and dislikes I forgot that Jesus lived poor. He didn't own a house, a car. Didn't have a recognized job and lived off the goodness of people who accepted him as being their King. He associated with the poor. Though we often forget poverty and oppression, it is clear from the Bible that they are always on God's mind.
Matthew 19:20-23
20 The young man said to him, "All these I have observed; what do I still lack?"
21 Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."
22 When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions.
23 And Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly, I say to you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven
Those are very powerful words. What is Jesus saying in these verses? Is he telling everyone to be poor in order to have eternal life?
Until next time may the peace of our Lord be with you.
Ed
I volunteered for the Shoes that Fit run on Saturday. I received a cool new T-shirt - bright yellow. Too small for me so I gave it to my lovely wife. A gift card good at the store which organized the Run. Gave it to the first person I knew.
I took some pictures of the runners as they passed the intersection that I guarded. My job was to ensure all runners could pass safely through the my intersection. I had such a GREAT time, I'm gonna volunteer at Christmas time. Maybe I'll have some spare cash to purchase a pair of shoes/boots or a set of clothes for a child that doesn't have that kind of item.
Wow, I'm volunteering. Never thought I would do something like this. Something so simple and yet something that can make a positive change to a little child. I suddenly realize that I had been very selfish. I used to think "why doesn't the parent(s) of the child get a job? Stop wasting our money to support them...
I could have been born into their world. No clothes for the winter months or a place to sleep other than a cardboard box. I was judging and I found their parent(s) lacking. I am small and mean spirited. I am less than they.
Somewhere along the way from being able to form my opinions, likes and dislikes I forgot that Jesus lived poor. He didn't own a house, a car. Didn't have a recognized job and lived off the goodness of people who accepted him as being their King. He associated with the poor. Though we often forget poverty and oppression, it is clear from the Bible that they are always on God's mind.
Matthew 19:20-23
20 The young man said to him, "All these I have observed; what do I still lack?"
21 Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."
22 When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions.
23 And Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly, I say to you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven
Those are very powerful words. What is Jesus saying in these verses? Is he telling everyone to be poor in order to have eternal life?
Until next time may the peace of our Lord be with you.
Ed
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Prayer
Today is my Friday. After 4 days of being back to work I find myself not as frazzled as I had at the beginning of the week. The temp here in Des Moines is mild - barely hitting the 80's and dropping into the cool 50's once the sun goes down. I had to wear my leather jacket while riding the bike this morning. 70 mph makes for a very cold ride!
I'm looking for a breviary. I started with the Internet and read up on the Catholic Divine Office. WOW! Seven (at least) times of the day, not to mention the early morning or late evening prayers - Compline and Matins. I wondered when I'd get time to practice the guitar, work, relax and take a nap! I could do it on my days off, except this Saturday I'm volunteering to man a water station at the local Shoes That Fit run. Just two days for daily prayer is not gonna work. 7 times a day is not practical. I found an Anglican breviary and when I have the moola for it, I'll purchase a copy.
Why the emphasis on prayer? How else are we to communicate with God? I've tried adopting a "lets talk buddy" attitude in the past. He didn't seem to answer. I became tired of that form and stopped. I can see now that my former attempts were set up for failure because they were ill conceived and careless. God and Jesus aren't your 'buddy', they don't hang out with you. They are Father and Son. One needs to be respectful and prayer itself is not causal. It should come from the heart, not the head.
I pray the rosary at least once a day. 53 Hail Marys, 7 Our Fathers and the 5 mysteries. Lot of Hail Mary's huh? Praying the rosary helps me to focus on Jesus life, what he went through for us and its really awe inspiring to think that as man, he suffered like he did, but as Son, he willingly accepted what God had in store for him.
That willingness to put aside his human nature is over whelming. In my human frailty, I could never do that. I'm still selfish. The biggest change in me has come about in my work life. I'm more calm. I have a smile on my face, a kindness in the tone of my voice that I never had before. My lovely wife has sensed this as well.
Until next time, May the peace of Our Lord be with you.
Ed
I'm looking for a breviary. I started with the Internet and read up on the Catholic Divine Office. WOW! Seven (at least) times of the day, not to mention the early morning or late evening prayers - Compline and Matins. I wondered when I'd get time to practice the guitar, work, relax and take a nap! I could do it on my days off, except this Saturday I'm volunteering to man a water station at the local Shoes That Fit run. Just two days for daily prayer is not gonna work. 7 times a day is not practical. I found an Anglican breviary and when I have the moola for it, I'll purchase a copy.
Why the emphasis on prayer? How else are we to communicate with God? I've tried adopting a "lets talk buddy" attitude in the past. He didn't seem to answer. I became tired of that form and stopped. I can see now that my former attempts were set up for failure because they were ill conceived and careless. God and Jesus aren't your 'buddy', they don't hang out with you. They are Father and Son. One needs to be respectful and prayer itself is not causal. It should come from the heart, not the head.
I pray the rosary at least once a day. 53 Hail Marys, 7 Our Fathers and the 5 mysteries. Lot of Hail Mary's huh? Praying the rosary helps me to focus on Jesus life, what he went through for us and its really awe inspiring to think that as man, he suffered like he did, but as Son, he willingly accepted what God had in store for him.
That willingness to put aside his human nature is over whelming. In my human frailty, I could never do that. I'm still selfish. The biggest change in me has come about in my work life. I'm more calm. I have a smile on my face, a kindness in the tone of my voice that I never had before. My lovely wife has sensed this as well.
Until next time, May the peace of Our Lord be with you.
Ed
Monday, August 23, 2010
Aug 23 2010
George, how was those tomatoes? . George is my brother in-law and is a super duper dude. He's just not a farmer, but he tries. He did have a tractor at one time, that was cool but he sold it. Not cool. His wife, my sister, is a Presbyterian minister and one super duper dudess. I'm the fool of the family. I have just returned to work after a long time off; during that time my sister, Pastranne visited me at my home. Picked her up at the airport and from the time I picked her up until the time I dropped her off again at the same airport we talked non-stop. Literally. Stopping only for sleep or chewing food. Wow, my jaws ached! I have never ever communicated with another human like I did with her. It seemed like 50 some years went zooming by without notice. I time traveled back to my childhood, teenage years and young adulthood. For the first time ever, I really connected with a sibling. My soul was laid bare and upon examination I realized that God was lacking. There was no grace in my heart. No wonder I found it hard to make friends and often influenced people in a negative way. People would say "Cheer up Ed!" I wasn't feeling anger or anything. That should have been my clue that something was wrong with me. I wasn't feeling anything. I wasn't feeling a true love for my family or my wife; I was just going through the motions. I wanted to control things as I blamed others for what was wrong in my life. I have a beautiful wife. Stunningly beautiful. She is me in female form - the same viewpoint, the same desires. I nearly lost her. I thank God for waking me up and taking me by the hand and showing me that He is there, that he loves me and wants me. I finally surrendered to His will. I didn't get a letter from heaven. I didn't get a dream, or an Angel with trumpets. An incident that I am not willing to tell yet changed me. I got rejection. First thoughts when I had regained my senses were "Damn it, not even God wants a shit like me".
Then I began to think. My sister, Pastranne showed me the light. Showed me the truth of the lie I was leading. I now know that God wasn't finished with me. He has yet more tasks for me to do while I am on this earth. I don't know what those are. It may be earth shattering, or it may be nothing more than being kind to another human being. All I know is that once I let Him back in, my face has been one big smile - it some times hurts, but that smile is there to stay. I don't go to church, but I'm in the market. I was born and raised Catholic and I stopped going to church when I was a young man. I still believe in the Catholic church and her teachings, but I won't go back. I will find another church to worship at. I'm going to start my worship by my treatment of others. God will speak for me, my mouth is tired and needs to be silent to allow Him to speak.
My heart needs to be heard. I have a friend who is going through a difficult period. He is a lovely young man and he needs some support. I can see myself in him as I used to be. Hurt, lonely and frightened. So while he is undergoing treatment for his heart, I will be there by his side and will let God work his miracle on my dear friend. After all, I need a movie buddy!!
Its time for bed. Good night. God bless.
Ed
Then I began to think. My sister, Pastranne showed me the light. Showed me the truth of the lie I was leading. I now know that God wasn't finished with me. He has yet more tasks for me to do while I am on this earth. I don't know what those are. It may be earth shattering, or it may be nothing more than being kind to another human being. All I know is that once I let Him back in, my face has been one big smile - it some times hurts, but that smile is there to stay. I don't go to church, but I'm in the market. I was born and raised Catholic and I stopped going to church when I was a young man. I still believe in the Catholic church and her teachings, but I won't go back. I will find another church to worship at. I'm going to start my worship by my treatment of others. God will speak for me, my mouth is tired and needs to be silent to allow Him to speak.
My heart needs to be heard. I have a friend who is going through a difficult period. He is a lovely young man and he needs some support. I can see myself in him as I used to be. Hurt, lonely and frightened. So while he is undergoing treatment for his heart, I will be there by his side and will let God work his miracle on my dear friend. After all, I need a movie buddy!!
Its time for bed. Good night. God bless.
Ed
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